April 20, 2009

This would be really funny, if it wasn't so true!

I saw this recently and decided this is full of facts about driving in India.  It is not really a humorous article.

Demystifying the Driving Myths http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Drive-in-India-and-Still-Be-Alive&id=2027446

India being the world's only "true" democratic country, it believes in the "freedom of drive" principle in line with other beliefs "freedom of speech", "freedom of religion", "freedom of corruption", "freedom of urinating in public" and so on.....

The below de-mystifying facts may seem very funny or too outrageous to be true. Nevertheless they are true even if the billion souls protests otherwise.

1. Driving is either Right Hand Drive (RHD) or Left Hand Drive (LHD)

Wrong. In India there is another type of driving called Space Driving(SD). Except for the very few toll Roads, driving is mostly SD, which means driving in whatever space available, left/right really doesn't matter.

2. Driving License is required to drive on the roads

Dead Wrong. You only need a vehicle to drive, nothing else really matters. A random survey on the road will immediately prove this point.

3. Green Means GO, Red Means STOP

Not necessarily. Except for the few traffic signals in those supposedly Metro Cities, Red & Green generally means "GO if you can"

4. There is something called Speed Limit

What is that? Only your vehicle and your ability determines the speed...your state of mind/body pitches in too...

5. Driving happens in a specified Lane

Sorry...You should refer the myth 1 again.

6. Honking is for Emergency

Wrong Again. A Continuous Honking is required to drive back home safely. Honking should be proportional to acceleration for better results. Honk to get the vehicle infront moving, Honk to overtake, Honk to clear the cattle, Honk just for the heck of it...honk all the time.

7. Signboards are there to convey something

Not really. All the sign boards like "No Entry","One Way", "No Parking", "No Overtaking"...& so on are generally there because "No body removed them" ...otherwise it doesn't mean anything

8. Signals are meant to convey your intentions to other drivers

Well..it would have been nice if that was the case.....but most people think this intrudes their driving freedom/right to drive and are seriously offended by this. You could even witness a left signal blipping, right "Hand" signal gesture and the vehicle going straight...that should summarize it for you.

Tips to keep your soul & body intact while driving in India

Reading and digesting the above "demystifying myths" information should really go a long way in saving your precious life while you are driving in India. Now you are ready for some extra but essential tips on driving in India.

Ignore any of the tips below, at your own risk

1. Use your Horn liberally. Honk as much as possible. Honking is not a crime or unpleasant behaviour but rather it is expected of you.

2. Never...I repeat NEVER drive in the night.

3. Don't drive slow or fast. Try to go with the general traffic flow.

4. Use as much as Signals possible. Even people who don't use signals tends to react to other's signals.

5. Traffic flows on "who blinks first" principle. So if a vehicle bigger than yours or if a driver more willing/arrogant/rash than you comes along... then give way to that vehicle

6. Never go behind or infront of a Truck... Avoid this at all costs. Smaller the truck it is, more dangerous it becomes.

7. Give way to all those speeding Buses. Those drivers are just trying to keep their "Job" by trying to beat the punishing schedule.

8. Always be alert...keep an eye on the rear vehicle if you are stopping for a signal or turning left/right or if you are just going straight.

9. Even when you are driving on a "Laned" toll roads, keep looking for another vehicle coming in your Lane in the opposite direction

10. Never go beyond 100 Kmph... even if you have a Top performance car.

11. Never hire a taxi/van with a driver. If you "have to", make sure the driver is not sleep-deprived and keep an eye on him continuously. Most of the accidents are caused by these professional drivers and they cause more deaths.

12. Expect people, cattle, and vehicles to appear suddenly out of nowhere.

13. Above all, Have a very good Insurance coverage just in case.

Inspite of all the above, if you do get involved in a accident, RUN for your LIFE.

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